Thank you, Jesal Panchal, for such an important question!
As humans we always tend to look at the things that surround us as if they are humans too. As humans, we often (consciously or not) hurt one another, but can objects, on their own, hurt us too? A glass of wine never hurt anyone, right? But 100 bottles of wine drunk all at once could surely kill you! However, 100 bottles of wine standing on a shelf in a shop could still be quite harmless. So, maybe things, on their own, are just things? Objects cannot really act on their own, unless put into motion by someone or something else. On their own they cannot hurt, and it is more what we do with them, the relationship that we develop towards them, that can be harmful – wine is surely a good example of that.
Because we look at things in a human way, we develop relationships with them. Many of us love wine (myself included), even though we know that wine does not love us back. This is how we establish a relationship with an object that can quite easily harm us. We fall in love with objects, and relationships can become toxic! To love means to desire something, to fulfil a desire of having something gives us satisfaction, even if temporarily, and then we want it more, to enjoy it again. We fall into a circle of desire and fulfilment. Love often comes with obsession and dependency, we tend to overdo things that we love, we want to have things we love all the time! And this is how things and objects become toxic. They become toxic in 3 steps:
- Falling in love.
- Falling into loops of desire and fulfilment
- Excessive use.
Unfortunately, everything in excess can hurt us. Food is essential, but too much food can cause obesity and death. Oxygen on earth is essential for our survival, but a higher proportion of it in the atmosphere would set the whole planet on fire! This is also true for medicines: though in small amounts they save lives, in bigger amounts they can be poisonous. It is the excess that can hurt us. So, why do the things we love hurt us the most? It is not that the things hurt us; it is rather that love can hurt us. It is the relationship that we establish to things through our actions that can hurt us.
Love, which we develop on our own, turns things into objects of desire. Now, love in itself is beautiful, but it can so easily turn into an obsession, and obsession makes a relationship toxic. Wine is an understanding partner, but only so long as there is balance in this relationship; if not, it will turn ugly.
What do you think? Why do the things we love hurt us? Let us know in the comments.
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I am a PhD candidate in Political and Social Thought at the University of Kent, Canterbury. I am researching modern Western cosmologies and approaches to organicism. My interests lie in the area of continental political thought, process ontologies and the philosophy of technology. My favourite philosophers are A.N. Whitehead and F.W.J. Schelling, whom I admire for their organic systematizations of nature and natural knowledge.